gran torino (2009)

embarassing at best.

the curious case of benjamin button (2008)

bastards! fuck the movie and everyone who put it on his top 10 list alongside iron man.

angry new year everyone!

planet retard

i found this incredible... but then again, imdb forums are a freak show:

by peterrichard30   (Sat Aug 2 2008 03:27:54)

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Which films would you say are particularly overrated 

I'd list 

Pulp Fiction 
Pan's Labyrinth 
Breaking the Waves 
The English Patient (well I suppose it won Oscars) 
Rules of the Game (Regle de Jeu) 
Beautiful Mind (another sappy Oscar winner) 

There's others I'd list but that's all I can think of for now 

Re: Most overrated films

by GundersonRocks   (Mon Oct 27 2008 15:24:05) Ignore this User | Report Abuse Pulp Fiction: definitely overrated  Pan's Labyrinth: No, I think it is a masterpiece  Breaking the Waves: Hell, no. A masterpiece  The English Patient: I agree, overrated  Rules of the Game: slightly overrated  Beautiful Mind: shouldn't have won best picture, but was good  **  if someone can tell me how they managed to have pan's labyrinth on the same list with regle de jeu, i'd love to hear it.

quantum of solace (2008)

hellboy II: the golden army (2008)

there's a lot of bad movies around, but every now and then, some are such large turds that they poke you right in the eye. imagine an ed wood movie, but with a 150 million dollar budget and you'd have a pretty accurate image. this is what happens when fanboys and concept artists think they know how to make movies.

in this spectacular display of multilayered masturbation, we see how far the limits of our patience can be pushed. the director once again takes a giant shit directly on our heads by selling the most random and uninentive piece of fan-fiction fantasy as "screenplay". this wasn't really neccessary since it's hard so surpass the crownpiece of fan-fiction masturbatory exercise, the pan's labyrinth. and since it was such a smash-hit, the budget allowed for even more of director's friends and myspace contacts to come and design all kinds of delightful and scary strange creatures. patting on each others' backs and circle jerks ensue. but what would really make our 40 year old star wars fanboys giddy is a reference to mos eisley- how about... a troll market? oooh! but wait- our choreographist friends don't have anything to do! let's make them think up 12 variations on the same fight, that can pass as another eighties nod, yes! hohoho! selfcongratulatory wank is in order! what did we forget? robots! robots that scream when we shoot them! and then they regenerate, and there's long sweeping shots over them to see how many they are, and there's another sweeping shot two minutes later, in case we forgot during the fight, and there's the shockingly insulting teenage-poetry twist, and oh-so-clever mirrored scenes from part one, and obscure references (to nothing really), and things we'll explain in hellboy 8...

this picture sums it all up:


hey hey hey, you might say- what, only good movies are the black and white ones that are set in 1920-ies poverty-stricken england with everyone miserable, and dying of heartache while silently communicating the great and depressing truths of life? why can't hellboy be a good movie, and still be entertaining? sure it could be- but look at it at face value- it's a steaming pile of shallow shit- and the only way to change it is to lower your standards to submental. this year we had the best example of a superhero movie surpassing its usual limitations (the dark knight), while it was still entertaining. but for all its faux grandeur and selfimportance, hellboy doesn't have a heart, or says anything important. a video-game intro, two hours long, that's what it is. spend those two hours better. go read a book, or just take a dump and look at your own turd. it'll be much more rewarding.

if you really want something positive it' that it actually makes me appreciate his blade movies a bit more, even though i was never a big fan. and i thank the internet once again for allowing me to vent affectionately.

trailer here:

2.5/10, august 20th

while waiting...

...to cover the backlog of piled-up movies to review, here's something that i'm looking forward to:

curious case of benjamin button

yes yes yes!